For the girl who leaves

  “It is so hard to leave—until you leave. And then it is the easiest goddamned thing in the world.”
― John Green, Paper Towns

I am the girl who leaves. I have never been like this, I used to stay, but not anymore. Pre- 2013 me would of stayed,  but after deciding to move to the other side of the world, staying didn't seem to be the best option for me.

Leaving means giving yourself new opportunities for possibly meeting new people, new jobs, new everything really. But it also means you kind of turn into a flight risk. I'm constantly thinking of new places to go, new cities to visit and possibly relocating to other countries. This side of me is a positive reaction, but is also my undoing, it might be to do with the fear of missing out at play here. The world is so small and I have the best opportunities to go out and explore.

I think I should realise that staying isn't a negative thing either, staying leads to the whole commitment problems that deep down I have (previous post about commitment here). Also staying doesn't mean I'm giving up either. Remember that being happy and proud of the choices that I make is a result of committing.

It affects how I meet people too, I'm quick to make new friends but I only have a select few who I really want to keep. When it comes to dating I'm kind of the best candidate for it, as I never expect much from it I will never stay, I will walk away at the quickest opportunity and try to never look back. I'll never really give the person the proper chance that they should deserve, which ends to a double problem for me- maybe I'm missing out by not giving the person a chance and just leaving?

Saying all of this I don't regret my decision for leaving and relocating to Hong Kong at all, I've been given the best chances here and fulfilled one of my dreams too. Leaving gives you good chances, sometimes it's best to walk away from a situation that you know just isn't working out. However, I just need to learn that staying rooted is also a great thing too, I'm slowly settling down here, time to make those roots grow Sophia, staying still isn't so bad.

-Sophia x