Being Independent

There's a lot of things that I'm not good at, walking without tripping over, not wearing white because fear of food stains, I can write this list endlessly so I won't dither on it now. However, the thing that I'm great at is independence. I never really thought of myself as an independent individual till recently. I guess moving to the other side of the world and not having much of a social life at the beginning can do that to a girl.

Looking back at it now, I was quite independent whilst growing up too, I enjoyed being by myself and using any spare time with my own company. I recall once, I wanted to go into town for a spot of shopping and my flat mate asked me if I needed her to go with me, I replied quickly with a no and I think for a second she was taken aback. Who goes shopping alone? Lemme tell you- this girl does. Actually, I love shopping alone, you can take your time, fret about the purchase for an hour, go into shops that you have selected and not have to waste anyone's time but your own. 

Of course there are perks to being independent, sometimes my opinion is extremely strong about this. I'm quite a proud person and also I like to feel needed/ helpful. I'll usually be the first to ask if someone needs help or jump to carry something. Usually I get told off to not carry the heavy things, but c'mon if I don't do it who will? I think that's the biggest problem I face, I'm always hesitant that no one else will pick up the slack so I go with the definitive solution for myself which is- well I'll do it all by myself! This mindset is good, but it's also harmful. As a human, you can't do literally everything by yourself, it's okay to ask for help sometimes (this is currently a thing that I'm trying to do).

I guess people might pity those who look like they are doing things by themselves, but I'll tell you a secret- I love it, I love my own company, if I'm not happy firstly with being by myself, how can I be happy being with other people? Also, 'me time' is the perfect opportunity to recharge and gather your thoughts. It's okay to be independent and want to do things by yourself, at that moment I'm alone but I'm certainly not lonely. I've come to realise two things- being independent is great, but it's also necessary to be dependent. It is also endearing to have people and family around.

However, if you are someone who hates the idea of being alone, just think about it for a minute. You will have no one bothering you for a little time being. If you can, just take some time away to be by yourself, it can be from a few minutes to hours or a whole day, then you will get a feel for it and start to crave it. Try doing a small food shop or clothes shop by yourself, then you can move into the 'bigger things' such as ordering food by yourself, maybe go for a run or bike ride alone to clear your thoughts. Me time is a much needed thing, plus you need to be happy with your own company.